7.31.2008

Please Critique


Alright, ive been working on this piece on and off the past few weeks when I had the time. I entered it in a gallery show, who knows if ill get in or not. I'd love some critique on this, especially from other artist. What do you think about the over all imagery, the colors, the design, its open game, shoot it too pieces. Since the piece is digital, its not too late to make changes. I plan to do two more pieces in a similar fashion, single or multiple figures with sureal/somewhat nonsensical backgrounds before school starts up, I think they will make nice portfolio pieces. Should i keep the color scheme the same or change it up.
The name of the piece: This Mind, a Prison.
The names of the next two: This Flesh, a Tomb
This Soul, a Crutch
Thanks in advance

3 comments:

S. Alex Lyon said...

I would say right off the Bat that the top left figure should be a bit more arched in the back to turn the body a bit and the vains in the bottom left corner should do more of a wrap/curve towards the bottom right figure to pull you into the frame a bit better.

Other then that the only thing i have to offer is maybe play with the break between light and dark in the background, that could be a bit more intersting but i would be afraid of calling to much attention to it. Away from the focus.

Over all i really like where it's going. It's a sweet/dark ill. be sure to post it on your page when its done.

Mike Puncekar said...

Not sure how I really feel about this. I remember seeing it on your DA and reading about the whole subconscious thing. I remember thinking, if this is truly representational of that, lets not ever mess with phil.

Most of my problems with this one aren't due to subject matter but with how it all fits together. I don't really see where I should be looking, all of the elements are equally contrasted. I would assume the man in the corner is the main attraction, as he is the most detailed, I mean, the other character floating in the upper right aren't dearly as brought to finish as he is. The planet kind of steals the show over all, being the most contrasted and the only thing in color.

A lot of the brushes are throwing me for a loop as well. Is the scattering on the brushes intentional? it looks like you worked zoomed out in photoshop and then it was like "Screw you" and then when you zoomed it, and you recognized it's wrath. I mean the technique is very spotty in this respect and I'm not really sure what is intentional. Mind you this is coming from the kid that hasn't EVER finished anything... so I don't mean to rip you apart.

I get that it may be a very random piece, but I think you still need to organize it further before you really commit to it, and go in with more of a final image in your head. This end result looks as if you just struck a bunch of things onto canvas, and decided to connect it all by lightning blots. Pink ones at that.

I do like some things though, although it may not sound like it, the triple eye socket is rocking, and all of the elements separately are on their way to doing their own thing quite well. Personally, my favorite part is the barbed wire fence behind it all, it has a true atmosphere to it, even though i think it all looks better in thumbnail, cause once it blows up, it looks like the digital format is really fighting you.

I like the design of the creatures as well, and the very subtle but effective spotting on them, they give a very amphibian feel to the skin especially on the legs of the foremost one that i just love.

Maybe I don't "get" it, but i do like the elements a ton, although together I'm thrown for a loop.

PhiL the Zombie said...

Thanks for the tips guys, especially you Mike, always like to here from you. And don't worry, I'm not taking anything you said personally, I wanted you to shoot holes in it, thats why I posted it. Mike you had mentioned that the planet "steals the show" I didn't know if you meant that in a good way or in a bad way, should I try to fade it back or leave it like it is? As for the "scattering", I'm gona assume your talking about the atmosphere above the barbed wire, it was intentional, I wanted it to look loose and spontaneous, but thats just me not knowing the ins and outs of painter yet, now that i look at it it does seem unfinished, ill prolly go back in a smooth it out. I was having a lot of trouble bringing it all together with more than just the tendrils and while it is supposed to be chaotic, I can definately see how someone would get lost and "not get it". Alex, I was thinking of playing around with the "rip" (light to dark) a bit more so we'll see how that turns out. THanks a ton guys. By the way, someone needs to show me how to make my own page.

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